a dream deferred.

February 5, 2009

When I was a kid the first thing I ever wanted to be was a writer. I wanted to write a book entitled ‘Help! I’m a Kid!’. I wanted my book to be a novel loosely based on my upbringing in Pittsburgh and all the trauma I was going through just learning to be me. Things sure do have a way of getting put on the back burner…

Throughout my childhood and teenage years I struggled to figure out what ‘responsible’ career I wanted to pursue, because according to everyone around me, writing wouldn’t pay the bills. It was nice to dream, but it had to be a ‘stable’ dream, not something farfetched and whimsical. So from about the age of 10 until now I’ve been serial career dating. 

It started out innocently enough with me playing around with ideas of being an architect or a doctor like my sister, I even went as far as to think that I could maybe be an actress because of my background in being the life of a party. Nothing stuck. What did stick was this writing thing. When everything else failed in my mind, I wrote about it. Writing was always the wife I’d come back to after cheating with other possible career options. 

College was where it got ridiculous. This is where I invested actual time and energy in majors that were suppose to eventually get me a ‘respectable job’. It was bad. I spent 4 years doing something I thought was right when all along it was wrong. 

One day I started writing. I wrote about how unhappy I was, how I wanted out of this facade, how I wanted to prove everyone wrong and do what made me happy and actually become profitable from it. So I left school with only a semester to go (no judgement needed), and hightailed it back into the safe arms of my father. I got my head on straight, got a plan together, and now I’m proud to say that I’m pursuing my initial dream of becoming a writer. Things sure do have a way of coming full circle. Watch out world…


One Response to “a dream deferred.”

  1. lawrenceez said

    Thanks for sharing. I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying. All the best with your writing.

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