the ephiany.

March 11, 2009

At the end of every challenge there is that ‘a ha!’ moment I live for. I actually kind of relish and look forward to it. Yes, I’m a huge baby. I hate pain of any magnitude, large or small, obstacles are often perceived by me as nuisances or irritations rather than opportunities to grow or learn more about myself, and detours on my map of life are not ever welcomed. But they happen none the less.

And that my friends, is something I’m learning to deal with.

Although it can be quite irritating, I’m hoping that the shit I’m going through will not only be short lived experiences that I can look back and reflect on as learning experiences, but I’m also obtimistic that they will mold and shape me into the person, professionally and otherwise, that I’m meant to be.

I have friends that are stuck in their way of life and thinking. They live like this is all there is. Deep in my heart I know this isn’t it. I know that I’m not meant to be in school forever, or live here forever, or have these problems forever. People wonder why I’m so withdrawn and standoffish. Why I don’t hang out every weekend or why I’m not so quick to make friends with people or jump in someones crowd. Because I’ve been there before, and I’ve seen what that way of thinking can do to someone, it damn near drove me crazy.

I’m focused on making my impossible dreams a reality. If you aren’t on board with that, then it’s quite possible you aren’t on board with me…

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